


Time for a Reckoning

by freddiejoey



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-31
Updated: 2011-08-31
Packaged: 2017-10-23 07:19:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freddiejoey/pseuds/freddiejoey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is this an alternate universe?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time for a Reckoning

Part One

Grimacing, Eithna rubs her swollen belly as Kai’s arms snake playfully around her. “Look how fat your seed has made me Kai – it must be your strong Saxon blood, creating such a stalwart child.” From under brooding hooded eyes, Arthur watches them entwine beside the longhouse hearth, so embittered in heart that………..Well, it has become impossible to fathom over the last, seemingly endless, sullen, galling year.

A year since he and Kai’s truculent bare-knuckle fight beside the lake, where so much more than pottery and nets had been irretrievably shattered…….

“You want her……..”

A slowly shaken head in response………..not her no……….never her no………..

And then Kai had viciously kneed Arthur and rolled away, not even that hastily drawn knife being sufficient deterrent to dissuade him from seeking Eithna. Her pretty smirk of triumph…………not that she even fully gleaned what she had triumphed over, simply that she had won something highly prized. The esteem of the chieftain’s handsome blonde brother at the very least, the right to cavort in his bed, the privilege to demand that they send for the Abbot and make their coupling legal, since she is Bavick’s daughter and no alliance will ever be sworn with him if his only child is treated as a mere casual dalliance.

To the end of his time on earth – or indeed in the afterlife – Arthur will believe that Eithna was simply in the right place at the right time – whichever even slightly comely, willing, suitable girl crossed Kai’s path then would have been seized and taken to wife. And it is much more than a vexed question of restoring his pride……..or allaying a broken heart………

For the first few weeks of their married life, Kai and Eithna occupy a separate hut - but then Llud insists that they return to the longhouse. It isn't right he argues when Arthur demurs. The chieftain’s family always reside in one home together – it's tradition and it represents security. Just as Rowena will share their hearth when she and Arthur eventually marry. To arrange otherwise would be deemed offensive and Kai is Llud’s son, the chieftain’s brother.

So back the happy couple come and Eithna quickly proves that she can cook and sew as skilfully as any woman – despite her propensity for male tunics and breeches. Not much Arthur can say anyway, since Rowena only wears a gown to host Yorath’s feasts – and always under sufferance. If his fingers itch to cast Eithna back in the lake with a bag of stones fixed to her belt……….well, it is an unworthy urge that he’ll have to learn to stifle and quickly.

He knows assuredly what has compelled Kai to finally make a bid for independence. His feckless actions concerning Cerdig’s diseased sheep and goats – pursuing his own goals in common cause without reference to Kai’s needs……..and his heart. Leaving his big brother as a vulnerable hostage to capricious Saxon whims……..and an unknown fate. Earning him Llud’s wrath and the eventual loss of Kai’s love……..

True, Arthur had assumed that they had been wholly reconciled in the subsequent weeks, that any residual bitterness had been permanently dampened. Their fiery lovemaking had certainly appeared to vindicate his hopes. Yet all the while the canker of resentment and despair had still been steadily festering – only to erupt under Eithna’s sudden flattering attentions.

Just once, several months into the marriage, with he and Eithna maintaining an uneasy truce, Llud beginning to warm to his surprisingly witty daughter-in-law, has Arthur dared to confront Kai about the reasoning behind his decision. One afternoon in the stables, when he is inspecting his horse’s shoes and Kai stumbles inside, laden with an armful of straw bales. Otherwise they have studiously avoided being alone together – it is too formidable………….bewildering………..brutal……..joyless……..

Now though, Kai can do little but put down his burden and try to hasten back outside as hurriedly as possible………. “Why?” It is a flat bleak uncompromising enquiry. Arthur looks up from under his black fringe, gently replaces the horse’s hoof among the mud and rushes of the stable floor. “Why?” Kai repeats the single dreary word, his tone equally harsh. “What did Yorath once say about Rowena’s tongue Arthur? Honey one minute and viper’s venom the next? Well that has been something like the history of falling in love with you, being in love with you. Perhaps I could have endured matters longer, overlooked your blowing hot and cold, your erratic conceits……except for this last business with Cerdig. Not even deigning to warn me beforehand……..”

Furiously, Kai shakes his blonde head as if to clear it of extraneous thoughts, while Arthur feels hot salt stinging fiercely behind his eyes. “Kai………I………” His voice dies uncertainly away, a dull silence engulfing the dusky stable. Arthur’s white horse whickers enquiringly; another kicks restlessly against his wicker stall.

From outside there is a lusty outburst of laughter, Llud sharing a joke with Olwen, her silvery chuckle falling like soft summer rain through the chinks in the stable wall. Sighing heavily, Kai picks at a loose splinter with one fretful finger. “Look Arthur, its done now. You are my brother and I will always love you as such. I will be your loyal lieutenant until my axe arm withers – and long after. But in time you’ll marry Rowena and although she might have accepted what………once was, for love of you, what other woman ever would?”

Suddenly he grows almost angry, the nail scratching ferociously against the wood, drawing a ruby of bright blood. “Anyway, is it so wrong to crave what most other men do, a wife and children?” Quietly, Arthur drops his gaze and closes his eyes. “No.” A simple, raw syllable of acknowledgement. The glowing blood is firmly smeared across the beam. “There’s something more………Eithna is with child and I want Llud to be able to enjoy his grandson or granddaughter. He deserves that – please don’t make it impossible for me to stay here in the village Arthur.”

With a polite nod, Kai turns on his heel and leaves……..and if Arthur does not emerge for another good hour, with a flushed face and trembling hands…….. only he will ever know…………

Llud urges him to marry Rowena – there is no possible impediment any more, Arthur isn’t under pressure and it will make everything so much smoother. Two women in the longhouse, easing the balance, restoring normality. Even Lenni accepts the inevitable and marries Alawn, Olwen’s younger brother and her ever-faithful, ever-hopeful, long-suffering swain.

However, Arthur still cannot bring himself to summon Abbot Morpeth on his own behalf. Rowena has been to visit on three or four occasions since Kai’s marriage. She is patient and tender. Their lovemaking may sometimes be far more savage than before…….yet, no-one knows better than her that assuagement can take many unlikely forms and how deliverance can be forthcoming from the most unlikely quarters.

And, at last, Eithna’s baby is almost due and the village is looking forward to the first imminent birth in the longhouse for a span of years. Llud can hardly contain his jubilant anticipation. He beams fondly at his elder son as Kai gives Eithna a teasing kiss on the mouth and goes outside, grinning complacently. “Alright Arthur, we’re off to do some scouting towards Tarn’s border, eastwards. We’ll be back for supper Eithna. Take care of my grandchild until then.” Halting at the door to pull on his cloak, Llud glances a little anxiously at his listless younger son. “For Hades' sake Arthur, look a bit more cheerful. Rowena arrives tomorrow morning – perhaps a smile or two is warranted.”

It is a few hours later that Arthur hears Eithna’s shocked gasp and glances up from his reading to see her standing in a pool of pearly water that has not sloshed over from any wooden bucket. She grunts between gritted teeth and determinedly kneads her taut belly. “Arthur, it seems that it’s time……….please help me to Lenni’s.” Nothing to do then of course, but make a stumbling, cautious progress toward the healer’s hut, where Lenni has long been prepared with her chamomile and sweet marjoram. Naturally Lenni will do her best for Eithna – even if she and Arthur had always both assumed that any child of Kai’s would also have her as its mother.

All at once, somehow rudderless, Arthur wanders back down toward the longhouse, deciding to start drafting a new treaty with Ambrose. No better way to occupy your mind than with boundaries and hunting rights. Then, from the corner of his eye, he sees Llud riding out past the palisade, toward the river. Obviously finished earlier than expected with their business concerning Tarn’s borders. Yet Kai is not with him………meaning that Kai is still inspecting something out in the forest, alone……..

For days Arthur has been fitfully, uneasily on edge – as if Theodore and Cedric and a whole army of their soldier ant brothers have been crawling relentlessly under his skin. He is hot and chill……….thistle and granite……….weak-kneed and iron-boned………….

Without warning, there seems no decision to be pondered anyway. There will perhaps never be a better opportunity………. perhaps never another again……..

Seemingly regardless of thought, he is mounting his horse, trotting with apparent leisure out of the gate, not daring to knee his white Bran into a gallop until the lake gleams like leaden pewter through the trees far behind him, heading toward the woods, heading east.

Kai is mending the hillside warning system, tightening its loose bindings. He turns, startled, beautiful brown eyes wide, as Arthur thunders into the clearing and dismounts. Takes two flying strides toward him and slithers one hand resolutely around Kai’s nape.

Tentatively Kai makes a faltering token gesture of protest…….then his awl and leather fall forgotten to the grass…………Arthur’s warm mouth is ravaging his willing lips…….and his famished tongue is marauding Arthur’s breathless throat……

Part Two

For a year I have hungered…………

Very slowly I lower myself to my knees before you, big brother……worshipping ………..lauding……reverencing you. If I wasn’t already so aroused, I would indulge myself, spending longer teasing you…………tantalizing my hands through your corn silk hair………..bewitching your roseate nipples with my provocative tongue.

But as your throbbing cock pulsates in front of me, the thrumming need flares within me and nothing else matters.

Sighing blissfully, I reach out with one deferential finger and very lightly trace the gleaming curve of your manhood. You are so beautiful……..so miraculous………so breathtaking…………and I have missed you more than the bud burst of oak does the spring.

Lovingly raising my eyes to yours, the tip of my tongue dreamily retraces the path my finger has just taken. The feel of your sleek flesh as I slide makes me violently tremble, outside and in…………

Whenever I have dreamed of this moment, craved it, never believing that it would ever be vouchsafed me again, I have envisaged appreciating every lustrous inch of you in ardent deliberation. Yet your bourgeoning prick, rigid and wanting against my lips, is more than I can endure.

Without further dalliance, I wrap one hand around the base of you and glide you into my ravenous mouth. Hearing your soft moan enkindles an unquenchable conflagration.

Whimpering joyously at the exquisite gift that you are, I waft my moist tongue over the tender slit at the top of your length, savouring the salty fragrance of the creamy seed already gathering there.

Your ensnarling fingers slip into my hair, fiercely kneading my scalp, twining a feverish wreathe across my neck.

Deliriously, your hips sway beneath me and I wonder if you even know……….

You taste so good……..so familiar……….so beloved. I suck you in further, luxuriously, completely exploring you with my mouth. Caressing the ticklish lower rim of your thrusting head, I feel you buck against me and we groan with one voice ……..beginning to take flight……..starting to spin through footless swathes of infinite blue…….

Shivers of euphoria rippling through me, I ease you deeper still, my lips encountering the hand that fondles the base of you. I hold you there for an endless intoxicating moment, cherishing the sensation of you embraced by my wet warmth. Utterly precious………..utterly inestimable……….utterly heaven………

Then I slither you in and out of my mouth, until you are drenched and shimmering with my spit. Gripping you firmly, I let my hand follow my lips, sweeping up and down your swollen length, sheathing you absolutely with each fiery stroke, engulfing you in wetness and heat.

The two of us, flowing………..floating……..dancing together as one……….

Suddenly I feel your ripe cock tighten, the muscles of your legs bunching in promise. You are grunting exuberantly, murmuring my name, calling me your love………. little brother…….. your beloved.

I want nothing else, nothing more than to have you come in my mouth. I want you, all of you, your essence………. and I want you, need you, claim you, demand you now………..

Kai my heart, you are edging closer, so close now, your breathing faster, shallower. Enraptured, I let go with my hands and simply venerate you with my throat, my face pressed against your flaxen groin. Listening to your mounting sobs of release, my heart swells within.

Soon I am pulsing my hips as well, weaving to a rhythm more ancient than the Carlin stones of Brighde, my body a glowing Bealtaine torch lit in your honour. Rocking into you……..merging……….yielding…….

And then you are there, bellowing out, thick sweet issue dousing my mouth as you convulse against me, your fingers snarling almost painfully in my hair, holding yourself deep in my throat.

I swallow ecstatically, yearning for all that you are willing to give me……..aching for everything………desiring more…………coveting forever………

Arthur gradually recognises that he has come in his breeches, the gusset slick and sodden as he moves……..and that Kai is kneeling in the undergrowth a few feet away, head bowed, shoulders shaking. But not from the lingering vestiges of passion – Kai is weeping as if the earth is tearing asunder beneath him, affording him a vision of hell………..

“My Kai………” Uncertainly, Arthur puts out a questioning hand, wincing as Kai instinctively flinches away. “Don’t call me that……….never again……….not only you at fault………I’m weak……….beyond contempt.” Kai’s voice is a low desolate agonised whisper.

Choking on the faltering words, Kai covers his face with shuddering hands. “No Kai……it was me……..if I hadn’t ridden up here……..come seeking you.” How not to touch him………comfort him……..draw him near when every instinct shrieks that it is the only thing in the world to do during this wretched moment………

“Just go Arthur……..please go.” Almost prostrate now, Kai has become eerily still, every sinew clenched in agony. Stumbling, Arthur takes one last desperate step toward him and ……….. “I said fucking go.” It is a resounding enraged roar, pealing through the woods, echoing out across the hills, wasting Arthur’s heart………

Teetering like a sightless man, since he cannot see for blinding tears, Arthur somehow retrieves his horse, mounts, rides away…………knowing that death must be easier…….the renunciation of the soul nothing against the scathing of the heart in life……..

Halfway back to the village, he stops, is severely sick, vomiting until just bitter bile and grey water remain. Continues on, thankful that his horse can intuitively follow the path home…………

Nearing the encampment, Arthur can see that everything is bustle and noise and haste, Llud stridently issuing orders, spears being handed out, shields distributed, swords circulated. Men rushing and shouting. Horses frantically whinnying, the whites of their eyes rolling in excitement.

“Where have you been and where’s your brother?” Llud’s greeting is a truculent growl. “Up mending the hillside warning system and Kai…….isn’t well. He’ll be down when he feels…….more like himself. What’s happened?” Furiously Llud looks around, nodding curtly at a young warrior who is holding up a bunch of freshly whetted short swords for approval. “A messenger came in……..a party of armed Saxons heading directly toward us…….foolhardy or stupid, who knows?.......and I’ve no idea if they belong to Cerdig or not. Simply that they’re the enemy and almost upon us.”

Before he turns away, to start mustering his men and make final preparations, Arthur all at once remembers……… “Eithna?” His father begins to lace up his studded tunic, deftly manoeuvring his one good hand. “Soon, according to Lenni and all seems well enough. Although, what a day to be born into this blasted world…..with the Saxons virtually on our doorstep……….”

It is a short, sharp, brutal skirmish – albeit closer to their village than Arthur can ever recall a conflict being waged before. A group of ferocious marauding Saxons, probably newly landed in their longboats, rather than Cerdig’s habitual soldiers, certainly unfamiliar with the stratagems of cavalry. They are dealt with fairly quickly and efficiently………spurting blood……….chilling screams………hewing bone…….

In fact, it is all virtually over and Arthur is standing beside his horse at the edge of the clearing by the river, watching as his warriors pile up the dead Saxons to form a pyre, when it happens………one surviving stray renegade……….a howling ringing cry of battle lust……..an adroitly-aimed axe blade……… feeling his scalp cleave….. Llud savagely running the lone fugitive through with his bloodied sword……….

The last thing Arthur seems to sense as the pitch blackness closes in is the sweet fragrance of burning yew………..

 

Part Three

Arthur’s mind feels leaden and awry as he blinks slowly awake, gradually realising that he is lying in his old bed, in the longhouse sleeping nook that was his as a boy. Before his mother left, before Kai came……….

Swaddled in sheepskins that smell of yarrow salve and sweet cicely draught, feeling as weak as a newborn lamb. His thoughts are sluggish and sullen, still ensnared by wild remnants of dreams. From somewhere he can sniff the pleasing scent of aromatic wood burning – yew, he is sure, mixed perhaps with fragrant rosemary. It is also extremely cold, his nose tingling in the crisp air. Probably what Llud terms a “wry surmise”, rolling in from the estuary, presaging winter’s iron grip.

Cautiously Arthur puts up a hand and runs it across his tufty scalp. Crusty and rough to the touch. Lenni has obviously cropped his hair and the wounds are scabbing over, more quickly than he would have anticipated. But at least there seems to be no infection. Albeit he has clearly been suffering from a fever of some kind. His whole body is depleted and drained, the skin across his belly drawn especially taut.

 

Even more tentatively Arthur moves his head on the pillow, letting his eyes flicker across the wicker ceiling; the wooden bowl of water and tidily- folded pile of clean cloths beside his bed; his sword and shield hanging on the wall in their accustomed places, just outside the alcove, in the main room of the longhouse; Llud’s green tunic flung carelessly across Arthur’s bedside chest in a moment of distraction………over to Kai sitting silently just inside the door, shrouded in his piebald cloak, a tiny baby with a cap of soft brown curls huddled into the crook of his neck.

His first thought is overwhelming relief that Kai is safe. Left alone out in the forest, with a group of mutinous Saxons set to loot and pillage nearby………..and he was the one responsible for leaving his Kai undefended and in danger………..

 

Memories brim over without warning…………bringing utter desolation……crushing guilt………fiery tears in their wretched wake. Swallowing heavily, Arthur opens his mouth to say something, realises that his throat is fiercely parched………..and that Kai is the last person in the world whom he should be asking for succour.

 

The searing tears roll unbidden down his hot cheeks, drenching the fleeces, making it almost impossible to maintain any semblance of sleep. Biting ferociously on his lip, he tries to hold in the throbbing sobs, praying that Kai will not glance over and guess that he is no longer sleeping, cursing his suddenly clamorous bladder. He does not deserve………cannot fathom how…………needs to………he knows not what…….and all at once a convulsive howl escapes, making Kai leap hurriedly to his feet, the baby clasped protectively in one arm.

 

“Arthur, you’re awake………we feared, although Lenni said…….” His brother is emphatically interrupted by the door flying open, Eithna standing there, narrow-waisted in breeches and tunic, thick woollen cape flung back over her shoulders, long hair neatly braided . “Kai, Alawn is looking for you. Something about reports of Saxons crossing the boundaries down near Druid’s Rock. Cattle herders maybe, but could you come since Llud is so busy?” Eithna smiles politely at Arthur. “Good, you appear a little better.” Bending, Eithna retrieves the elfish infant from Kai. “Here, let me take her” – so the baby is a girl – “and I’ll go fetch Rowena. She’s helping in Lenni’s hut.”

Instinctively, Arthur prepares to offer a directive, some advice about getting Alawn to check if these Saxons’ shield markings are similar to those displayed by the recent marauders – since Alawn had fought in the skirmish…….a few days ago? Yet even more intuitively, Arthur says nothing. Along with Llud, Kai is his most able, trustworthy lieutenant – in truth, he needs his little brother’s instructions about precisely nothing…………and the scorching tears gather again……….

 

Smothering a few choice expletives, Kai stumbles his fingers through his tousled flaxen hair, strapping on his axe, Eithna standing, holding the door ajar for him. “Alright……….well, plainly you’re not going anywhere in a hurry Arthur. I’ll be back as soon as I can. There’s something needs to be settled between us before……..anyway, just rest and do as you’re told.” And Kai is gone………..

 

Left alone, Arthur closes his sodden eyes, his bladder now painfully strident, attempting to glean what has been happening, how long he has been ill. There is a vague memory of Llud saying that Rowena was coming for a visit and therefore that is why……..as the door is pushed wide again and Rowena rushes in, flushed and panting, shielded in his great furry cloak against the cold. “Arthur………you’ve given us such a scare. Already laid low by your wounds and then this fever that has stricken half of the village. Lenni’s hut has been crowded to the rafters, we’ve burnt yew and rosemary as a defence……. though finally the worst seems to be abating.”

 

All the while she is fussily holding a cup of milk to Arthur’s dry mouth, rearranging his fleeces, anxiously examining his gnarly head. Ruefully, Rowena holds up the clay pot from under the bed. “I expect that you need this quite badly.” Sliding his bare legs carefully over the side of the mattress, watching the gooseflesh rise on their ivory gauntness, Arthur glances down in disgust at his cock, turgid with piss. Fucking thing……..he has no more control than a rutting goat………..

Emptied, Arthur takes the rag that Rowena passes to him and rubs it almost savagely across his moist tip. It is said that Marcus Aurelius Antoninus hired a servant to walk behind him to whisper in his ear," You are just a man...just a man," as he received the praise of the adoring citizenry. Well, perhaps he should have somehow done the same, to curb his arrogance and pride. For years he had basked in the wonder of Kai’s love, too pretentious to even consider that one day his capricious handling might render it forfeit. Imperiously he had challenged the gods and been bequeathed a fitting nemesis. Except that his Kai had been brutally condemned to plummet as well………..

Rowena is looking at him curiously, waiting to dispose of the pissy rag. Wearily he hands it over, allows her to tuck him back among the sheepskins. “Later you’ll need to shave that prickly black stubble that insists on masquerading as a beard but now, you must be hungry – what do you fancy, chicken or boar?” Arthur fully intends to say “Neither, I will never be able to stomach a morsel again…….” – and instead absolutely confounds himself by answering “Both.” Becoming aware that he is ravenous and less exhausted than before.

As Arthur tears shreds from the juicy meat, greedily sucking the bones, he watches Rowena closely, finally recognizing how determinedly she is stifling her own tears. How pale and weary she is. “You’re completely tired out……….have I been ill two or three days?” She gives an incredulous snort of laughter. “This is the seventh day Arthur and a whole horde of villagers along with you. We have been run off our feet, praying that it spares the children. Actually, I’ve been amazed at Eithna. That woman is far more competent than I ever imagined. And you’ve been dozing most of the time, being steadily dosed with sleeping draughts and sweating out the delirium.”

Kneeling, she covers his cracked lips gently with her own, brushing back his tattered hair. “At least you’re on the mend. Kai might get a decent rest himself now. He sat up every night beside you.” Arthur’s heart flutters in his chest like a freshly fettered songbird, thrashing frenziedly against the wicker bars. After everything he has inflicted………

It is unendurable to even contemplate for a heartbeat………. To distract his tumbling thoughts, he pulls her close. “It can’t have been much of a visit…….” He feels her sigh thankfully against his chest. “No-one can complain that they haven’t been kept gainfully occupied………Alright, since you’ve been fed and had a relieving pee.” Rowena kisses him once more tenderly, places a jug of milk and a cup within easy reach. “Try and get some more sleep and I’m off to take over from Llud. That man needs a good slumber too.”

She stops at the door, smiling softly. “Were you awake to see Kai with the baby? The little sprite likes him to sing to her. Spoilt minx.” Much brighter, Rowena flits back outside and Arthur can hear her crossing the yard, calling something to Eithna about Llud probably charring meat over the fire on sticks.

In defiance of his thundering heart, he does nap again, a much more relaxing, natural sleep this time, unbound by potions or fevers. Coming awake to Lenni’s quiet ministrations and reassuring smile. “It’s almost midnight. Almost tomorrow.” Arthur lays a pleading hand over hers. “Kai and Alawn…….they’ve returned safely?” Firmly Lenni returns the pressure. “A few hours ago. They’re resting out in the main room here. It was only harmless cattle traders meandering to the coast. Do you want Kai, because I’m sure he won’t mind being roused?”

“No.” An abrupt dogmatic denial. Quickly tempering his tone, lest anyone suspect………. “No, they must be weary……..all the way to Druid’s Rock and back.” Lenni strokes his cool forehead with satisfaction and affection, straightens the pillows. “These fleeces can be changed later. I’m so glad you’re getting better Arthur. Llud looked in on you earlier but you were asleep again. He’s been so frantic………”

Bundling the soiled linen and bowls together, she prepares to leave. “Lenni.” She turns back, smiling quizzically. “Thank you. Rowena said how hard you’ve worked for the village, for the children. Your husband will be pleased to have you all to himself when the sickness has finally passed.” Lenni’s pretty brown eyes gleam wetly in the candlelight. “Not perhaps as pleased as your brother will be to ride by your side in the sunshine once more. Good night Arthur. Sweet dreams.”

Rolling on to his side, stretching his aching muscles, Arthur reflects that Alawn is a fortunate man. As the monks claim, patience is the companion of wisdom. Or is it that Llud has always been more accurate in his cynical belief that patience is often an indigent form of despair disguised as a virtue………….?

Suddenly it is full morning, sunlight winking through the wicker, Llud’s delighted laughter floating from the direction of the longhouse table, the baby’s disgruntled cry echoing fretfully. This morning Arthur feels almost completely clearheaded, much stronger, the last of the sleeping potion and the fever leached away. No excuses now not to confront what he has done. He is the village chieftain and the leader of his people. Time then for a due reckoning………..if he cannot retain mastery of his desires…………..

Moaning softly, Arthur turns over in bed……….and there sitting on a stool, a few feet away, calmly holding out a goblet of hot honeyed wine, is Kai…………..

“Here, I thought you might be ready for this. Besides it’s high time that we talked. I think that certain rather glaring topics warrant further discussion don’t you?”

Part Four

Squeezing his eyes shut tight, Arthur grips his hands together on top of the blankets until the bones seem to grate from the crushing pressure. “There is nothing to say in mitigation, I know that……….I misreckoned and blundered and all I can offer is that it will never happen again………..I will have better control of my…….compulsions in the future…………a competent rein on my heart………” He is appalled to feel the tears leaking out from under his closed lids and spilling down his cheeks……..even more appalled when Kai’s finger gently sweeps them away, making him weak to the marrow…….. and so very very deeply ashamed……….

“Oh Arthur, I knew something like this was coming………….impossible to stifle overpowering emotions forever as we should know all too well.” Kai’s voice is low and insistent. “For God’s sake, open your eyes and look at me.” Slowly Arthur does so, blinking through a wet blur of salt. “I’ve been here for a week little brother, listening to you mumble about guilt and self-reproach and dereliction – but you have to put it aside, cast it behind you and ……….”

“Look, I’ve brought you a visitor.” Llud striding smiling through the door, holding the now-quiescent baby. Well, they will be sharing the longhouse with it from now on, so Arthur supposes he’ll have to get used to its wide-eyed presence. Very carefully Llud deposits his fleecy bundle against Arthur’s knees and it stares solemnly up at him, an intense blue-grey gaze.

“But……….. how……..?” Arthur’s heart thuds violently. “She looks just like Rowena.”

Kai and Llud frown quickly at each other and Kai leans forward to thread Arthur’s fingers resolutely through his own. “Are you sure you’re quite well yet beloved?”

Beloved?

Rather bemused, Llud shakes his head. ““Yes, I suppose it is surprising considering how you’ve left such an unwavering stamp on Kaitlin and Luc…….. It’ll just be the sweet cicely draught, causing confusion – that stuff is terrifyingly potent, although Lenni had no choice, your fever was so virulent. Ana gave it to me when I lost my hand and yes, it healed me right enough – but the nightmares and visions that accompanied it seemed indelible at the time – and more real than reality.”

Trembling in overwhelming relief, Arthur raises Kai’s hand to his lips and brushes his fingers across the baby’s satiny cheek. Shannyn - her name is Shannyn and she was born barely a week before he was struck down with the sickness. No wonder poor Rowena is still so pallid ………. “Just tell me one thing. Is Eithna really here in the village right now?”

Kai is still glancing at him with concerned uncertainty. “Yes, Eithna’s here. Don’t you remember? She and Mark and their children rode in last week – Mark’s gone to Tarn’s and then on to Yorath’s to fetch some new battle horses. He’ll probably be back tomorrow. In fact they had just arrived and you were standing talking to Mark, holding Shannyn, when you swayed and toppled from the fever – I caught you and Eithna caught Shannyn.”

He watches, more reassured, as Arthur finishes his cup of wine and bites into a warm bannock. “By the end of the day, the sickness was sweeping through the village and Llud had taken himself off to the guest quarters with the children – my three, your older two and Mark’s pampered pair. They’ve been up there ever since for safety – stuffing themselves with sweetmeats and running wild.”

So that has been the association with Eithna and the baby……….Arthur suddenly has a hazy recollection of being strangely spent and wobbly, his body aching relentlessly. Determined to ignore it and remain upright since he has been so long bed-ridden with his head wound after Hoxel’s onslaught. Trying to maintain an orderly conversation with Mark, then everything going dark without warning……….

Naturally, when he’d remarked to Rowena yesterday that “It can’t have been much of a visit…….” she had assumed he was referring to Eithna – hence her tart answer, “No-one can complain that they haven’t been kept gainfully occupied…..”

Scooping up Shannyn, Llud sighs heavily. “The fever has left its imprint on the village Arthur. Some replenishing and repair to be done – yet when is there not I suppose? I’ve had the best of it, a very pleasant idyll with my grandchildren - although I must say Mark’s offspring can be typically self-absorbed.”

He affectionately ruffles Arthur’s shorn hair and slips outside. Waiting until he can hear their father issuing instructions to the door sentries, Kai turns back to Arthur, grinning exuberantly. “Finally……. I’ve been waiting a fucking week to do this properly my love” – and he bruises his little brother’s mouth in a lush, rambling, celebratory kiss that Arthur wishes would last forever………….and feels compelled to return in equal measure………..

They break apart, gasping for breath, smiling triumphantly. Arthur blissfully breathes in his big brother’s fragrant scent, noticing something that he had been too disconsolate to mark yesterday – on Kai’s middle finger gleams Lenni’s marriage band. The ring that once belonged to Llud’s wife Cerys, bequeathed to Lenni by Kai a decade ago in front of Abbot Morpeth, always given to Kai for safekeeping when she is busy in the healer’s hut.

“So before, Kai my heart, when you spoke about self-reproach and guilt, what did you……..?” Now Kai looks distinctly alarmed. “Hoxel of course, what else did you think I meant, beloved? You’ve been condemning yourself in the weeks since, thinking that you put Rowena and the baby, Llud and me at risk by your actions. And for the last seven days, I’ve been listening to you mumble and mutter about it, while you sweated in delirium.”

“But your contrition is totally misplaced Arthur. Helping others is in your blood – it’s why you’re such a masterly leader. And one of the infinite reasons why I’m hopelessly in love with you. Besides, you couldn’t have known that you were coming to the rescue of Hoxel’s henchman.”

Of course – Hoxel, capturing him and Rowena shortly before Shannyn was born……hence his scabbing head wound and still-mending stomach muscles…….Kai and Llud having to obey the renegade Saxon’s maniacal summons………Kai’s arcing axe cleaving Hoxel’s head from his body……..

And the deep-seated sense of culpability and failing has festered ever since……..all it had taken was the sweet cicely’s phantasmic powers to set it free, coupling with other old bitter memories involving Eithna, creating a hellish nightmare……..

Indulging in one more protracted passionate kiss, Kai gets to his feet. “Alright, no rest for the wicked……..and randy. Plenty to do out in the village with half of our usual workers laid low. I’ll be back to keep you company tonight. Don’t run away little brother…….and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do in the meantime.” With a gleeful wink, he strides outside and a few minutes later Arthur hears his horse’s hooves and Alawn’s clattering toward the river. Alawn who now seems quite delighted with the Cornish girl he wed on the rebound, a few months after Lenni married Kai and started to display the rotund belly that contained Theo.

A little later Rowena brings him a square looking-glass, a razor and soap so that he can shave. Gazing into the metal-coated glass as he scraps his cheeks, Arthur is dismayed at how thin and wan he appears. Below his cropped hair, his face is all jutting bony planes, sharp-edged and peaked. He needs to concentrate on regaining his strength – and briskly.

As usual, Kai is right – time to start hammering out the future, instead of wallowing in recriminations concerning the past. Time for a reckoning – dispel grim nightmares, count his blessings, lead his people prudently, cherish his family, love his Kai……..

Just before sunset, Lenni is bathing Arthur’s head when they hear Kaitlin’s adamant voice through the wicker - a final welcome anchoring back in reality. “But I want to see my father now.” Rowena’s no-nonsense response. “I’ve already told you, you can see him tomorrow when you all come back to the longhouse - he’ll be able to brave the wintry sun if you bundle him up well enough. No good looking at me like that either, my stubborn little Celtic princess, it’ll get you precisely nowhere.”

Arthur can quite well imagine her mulish expression – one that Llud would say is directly inherited from him. Yet Arthur isn’t so sure, his own habitual obstinacy notwithstanding. He smiles at Lenni, remembering Rowena standing in an early morning meadow at Yorath’s village, just after certain Saxon women had been deviously emancipated………. “Are you going to say it?........Say what?.......... “That you’re a fool, a shrew with a viper’s tongue……….” Even Kai could safely bet that Kaitlin’s face is a mirror of her mother’s wilful pout in that moment. Nourishing reminiscences, memories that are infallibly true………….

As is Arthur’s melting contentment when Kai bars the door that night and starts to unstrap his axe. “And tonight my love, I am not huddling on Theo’s pallet that I hauled in here several days ago. Make room.” Golden chest……….flat firm belly………huge, exquisitely swinging cock………..If ever there was a more magnificent vista……….and a man about to brave the winter sun again perhaps could be persuaded……..especially one with a nightmare to banish………..

Gently Kai kisses his mouth and pulls Arthur against his warm naked body. Ruefully, Arthur nestles into his big brother. “I must look a fright – all bones and scabs.” Kai gives a soft chuckle. “Stop fishing for compliments – you know that you always look bloody beautiful to me and the only thing preventing me from fucking you is the rather parlous state of your health. Don’t forget beloved, I’ve been attending to various bodily functions of yours for the past week while you’ve been insensible…….and they have all involved your prick or your arse. Talk about Eve and the apple……..”

They lie in happy silence for a few moments………….then…………. “Kai my heart?” One shrewd brown eye opens. “Yes, little brother?” Trying to sound pensive, Arthur snakes one hand under the fleeces and begins to teasingly caress Kai’s taut stomach. “Eithna being here – and in my dreams – has reminded me of a certain memorable event……how after we fought, it eventually resulted in something much nicer…….involving a couple of drinking horns……..and a few other horned things as I recall………..you see, I am feeling so much better………and do correct me if I’m mistaken, but I believe the horned things might have been a little like this……..” and Arthur leans in and tenderly brushes his fingers over Kai’s hardening shaft.

Very regretfully I move your hand away. You are still so fragile and rawboned. We have forever – why hotfoot matters unnecessarily? Although my stiff cock tells its own yearning tale……….

“You don’t want me?” Suddenly you look completely stricken, close to tears, all happiness flown, your eyes boundless pools of desolate blue in your ethereally pale handsome face.

The bleak statement about not being wanted……….something we flung at each other long ago in fury and resentment. Never true – simply intended to wound and provoke. But not used as a weapon now between us for so many wonderful years. So why……?

All at once I realise that this has nothing to do with your scabbing head or overly spare frame…………whatever frenzied spectres enmeshed your nightmares, during your fevered ramblings……….. it is not only Hoxel of whom you dreamed while you muttered about guilt and loss and neglect. That fucking devil may have been the underlying cause – but, I’m certain it was a different vision that made you vomit and sob at the fever’s height…………

Oh, cut out my heart and feed it to the ravens and wolves, I am a great stupid clumsy oaf. Let me stop bloody pondering and just show you………..What is it that Lenni always maintains? That joy is the best panacea for any ill?

Almost, I start to weep because I have been so harebrained and blind. Fervently kissing your trembling mouth in reparation. “Of course, I want you my darling, more than life, more than breath. Forgive my foolish dithering.” Watching as the most beautiful smile in the world lights up the sleeping nook where first we cradled as children.

I know where there is perfumed oil in the longhouse bedroom, empty tonight with Lenni, Rowena and Eithna in the healer’s hut, Llud and the children in the guest quarters until tomorrow. Yet you put a restraining hand on my shoulder as I go to rise. Gesturing toward your rigid prick, already blooming with milky come, inviting me to slurp and graze. “After all, my heart, you only eat like a Celt – you will insist on drinking like a Saxon.”

Brimming with euphoria, I lick your musky juices, swirling my tongue around the clenched bud of your pulsing pucker, making it wet and warm and gleaming in readiness. Inextricably marrying my spit and your seed as I probe and bath and sweep.

Gutturally you moan, slender hips undulating, your silken cleft writhing against my swabbing tongue. Then I notice the golden glistening among the pearl. A few shimmering dewdrops of honeyed piss.

Grinning wildly, I take the fleshy tip in my lips, lapping the hot salty pee on to my tongue, licking it fiercely inside the dark velvet of your entrance.

Pressing your soft ripe mouth to mine for one more lingering kiss, we share the heady interwoven fragrance of your arse and cock, smiling in delighted collusion. If ever there was a more powerful healing balm…………

There is no need for further preparation. Lovingly I wrap my hand around your swollen mulberry shaft, beginning to work it with a strong rhythmic measure, feeling it throb and purr beneath my stroking fingers.

As you sense the hungry mushroom bulge of my aching length resting against your hole, you slowly bear down and I ease in. Slippery piss and spit and come allowing me to slide until your moist muscles close around the narrower shaft.

We sigh in enraptured unison and start to thrum and rock.

You, grappling the tight lean sinews of your glorious arse, groaning and whimpering elatedly, thrusting backwards, leaping within my hand.

Sweat beading my forehead, drenching my hair, as I storm your shimmering cleft, shuddering with exhilaration.

It is relatively fleeting – but then I am still mindful of your health and we are somewhat out of practice – well, for us anyway, since it has been a matter of weeks. But brief notwithstanding………..it is exalted and intoxicating, jubilant and triumphal………..(as well as satisfyingly sticky.)

And when we crest together………. we sway among the glowing stars……… to a minstrel’s lay only we two can hear………… in a dance to last for all time………..

A gift for a gift……..Once I would have deemed it a weakness to confess to suffering nightmares. Yet that arrant self-sufficiency is now bygone and far away. My Kai deserves to know what he has helped disperse through his unwavering strength and solicitude. So after we have done a little judicious daubing with a few wet cloths and are contentedly settled back among the fleeces, I twine our fingers and lie comfortably against his warm chest. “Alright sweet thing……….it was not really Hoxel I dreamed of under the sleeping potion’s spell……….although you were quite right, I have been feeling guilty ever since he struck…….no, it was something else altogether……..Listen……..”

He weeps with me and then does what only my beautiful big brother has ever been able to do – makes me laugh through my tears. “It seems a bit churlish to gainsay Eithna when she’s worked so hard for the last week, helping nurse our villagers, but the one time we did couple……….well, when she came……….and she did peak more than once as I recall…………..she made a noise exactly like a badger’s churr……..that throaty insistent mating call female badgers send forth in autumn………probably Mark finds it alluring………..I, on the other hand……….whatever are you chuckling at little brother?”

I feel his lips brushing across my rough scalp. “Anyway, I was already over Eithna before you told her to get on that horse – it was only my pride being hurt in front of the village that made me fight you. You’ve always known that…………Sleep now my darling – a longhouse teeming again tomorrow, my brood and yours, Llud’s two ancient tunics, Shannyn needing the lullaby about Maponos and the magical cauldron, Mark’s boasting.”

Leaning on my elbows, I look up at Kai and grin. “Just one more thing……..when did that happen?” He narrows his brown eyes in apparent bewilderment. “What?” My grin widens. “That I became your darling. I’ve long been little brother and your love and beloved. This darling business is new though.”

Suddenly Kai is blushing – reddening as deliciously as a beetroot. Even those lovely ears are crimson against his blonde hair. “Oh…….it’s too maudlin isn’t it? It sort of happened because………I’ve been so worried……..what with you being wounded and then ill………..but I don’t have to……..I can easily stop.”

Softly, I reach up and kiss Kai’s succulent mouth. “No, never stop. I love it and I love you. Please continue to call me your darling until the end of time, big brother.” And he holds me close, scabby head, bony bits and all………. and I fall asleep into a burrow of wondrous dreams – because the only Saxon I dream of is my Kai……..


End file.
